Engaging vs Anxious

So, I love meeting new people, I love socializing, and I've REALLY been enjoying looking for a new girlfriend; however, I feel I'm not sure I know where the balance is between being properly engaging someone vs making it seem like I'm overly anxious to meet them. For example, in meeting someone new you have to make conversation with them (i.e. "engage" them in conversation), however, it should come naturally and not with much effort. When I meet girls, however, I tend to feel I am often trying too hard (to do whatever it is that I'm doing with them whether that's making a new friend or girlfriend) and I stop being relaxed and natural.

Though, that seems to kind of be the problem, engaging someone in conversation takes effort so, more or less, there is no "natural" way to talk to people. It will and does always take a level of effort to "make" conversation with people. So, in other words, I'm not really sure if being relaxed and natural is really the correct phrase to use to explain how I/anyone should be in meeting someone new. It seems correct, but for me to be relaxed and natural means sitting and not saying anything! :P Though, I guess I don't fully feel that way because obviously I love talking with friends and don't feel like it takes any effort to chat with them...hmm...

One way or another, I feel like I'm often trying too hard and want to cut that out. I want to be in control with meeting people (girls especially of course since I need myself to be natural when I meet the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with). I had a good time with a group of people last night, but obviously I've got some work to do...

Cheers--