A sad story pushes us forward...it never should have happened. What we should do now.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090219/ap_on_re_us/crystal_cathedral_shooting

What a sad story. Inside of my mom’s favourite church too. This is exactly why I like to write. I wish our society had more than a poorly looked upon structure of counselling and psychology; and religion. Counselling; the thing you do when you can’t fix yourself. Something some people can and do get addicted to without ever actually making an impact. If you ask me, the conversation for counselling isn’t something that you should do over years and years; that doesn’t make any sense. Just like anything, you should be able to figure it out and then use what you’ve figured out to move on with your life. You may not FEEL what you know you’re supposed to do, but at least you finally know what you’re supposed to do and you can live life with a sense of direction. Without direction you have despair; and despair can cause a great many number of problems.

My objective for my writing: to explain how the world should work. To explain how and why finances should be run a certain way; to explain how people can be happy; to explain how and why you should be a good person; to explain how to find what you want and how to be comfortable with life and love; to explain how and why laws should be constructed. I am not in the game of debate; I’m here to help, and to actually figure this shit out. I'm tired of the endless pointless debates by people who live in contradiction and don't accept the world for what it is around them.

I hate to say it, but this is one of the main things that I hated...well...I'll leave it at that. I just don't like people who don't accept the world for what it is.

Engaging vs Anxious

So, I love meeting new people, I love socializing, and I've REALLY been enjoying looking for a new girlfriend; however, I feel I'm not sure I know where the balance is between being properly engaging someone vs making it seem like I'm overly anxious to meet them. For example, in meeting someone new you have to make conversation with them (i.e. "engage" them in conversation), however, it should come naturally and not with much effort. When I meet girls, however, I tend to feel I am often trying too hard (to do whatever it is that I'm doing with them whether that's making a new friend or girlfriend) and I stop being relaxed and natural.

Though, that seems to kind of be the problem, engaging someone in conversation takes effort so, more or less, there is no "natural" way to talk to people. It will and does always take a level of effort to "make" conversation with people. So, in other words, I'm not really sure if being relaxed and natural is really the correct phrase to use to explain how I/anyone should be in meeting someone new. It seems correct, but for me to be relaxed and natural means sitting and not saying anything! :P Though, I guess I don't fully feel that way because obviously I love talking with friends and don't feel like it takes any effort to chat with them...hmm...

One way or another, I feel like I'm often trying too hard and want to cut that out. I want to be in control with meeting people (girls especially of course since I need myself to be natural when I meet the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with). I had a good time with a group of people last night, but obviously I've got some work to do...

Cheers--

What Life is Like

While I would hate to admit it, I think a big part of this blog is actually due to my ex-girlfriend. Oy...what a terrible way to start off a brand new blog; though I must admit, that's what's on my mind at the moment. So, that's what I'll write about...well...maybe not. The whole point of why I created this blog was because I wanted to tell myself about what I've been up to over the past week. I mean, to be honest, my life has been friggin' incredible since my ex and I broke up. I have had more fun over the past few months and especially over the past few weeks than I can ever remember. Over the past week, I have:

1. Joined and gone to 2 separate Trick Society classes
2. Gone to my first Yoga class
3. Taken my first breakdancing class
4. Went to play Tennis with my good friend Mehmet, and another friend Alejandro
5. I went to see a movie last night with 2 other friends Nora and Amjad
6. I'm going to play squash with another friend Rogier and Amjad
7. I went to a pub last night and invited 2 very beautiful girls to join in on mine and my friends conversation
8. I've stayed up late with one of my best friends in the world (Shaga) to, at one time, do homework, and another time just talk
9. Last weekend I got 5 of my other friends to join me in going out to Warwick Castle (something I've been wanting to do for weeks!) which of course turned out to be an incredible time.
10. I also went to a club and thoroughly enjoyed myself with a group of good guy friends who are also trying to get girlfriends.
11. I also enjoyed a dinner at my friend Neringa's place, who made traditional Lithuanian food for us all the while staying up late to work on my homework with another good friend Saud and also Shaga...

I mean, it is just amazing how much stuff I've been doing and how incredible life has been!!!!! I mean, this also doesn't include dinner with Mehmet and Dimitris at the Goose, or stopping by to see Ali at Ali Babas (yeah, it's kind of funny. :))...there has just been so much to do and I have been having SO much fun.

Am I hurt by Tiffany? Yeah, I'm still hurt. :( Though I couldn't imagine giving my current life up for anything. It saddens me greatly because I really did love the girl. Though, obviously it didn't work. We weren't who we each needed. Now I'm wondering why I'm even talking about this. I guess maybe it's because it needs to be said...? Maybe? I guess the thing is, I am doing everything I can to get over it; move on from it. I think today was the first day that I actually realized that no matter where I am in my developmental stage I am worthy and capable of having girlfriend. I don't have to wait until I "know exactly who I am". I guess, maybe, just finally beginning to do what I want is what I needed to "know who I am".

Well, Cheers to life; and Cheers to all of you. I'm not perfect, but I am enjoying my life. I need to go. Heading out to play squash with a few friends, like I said; then it's off to breakdancing...breakdancing...cool... :P

Love life, love others, and stay positive. Cheers.